It's pain, and it demands to be felt!

       

We often haven't realised but,

All that remains is pain:

It's painful when you need to leave something or someone. 

It's painful when you need to forget all those memories which had become a part of your life, without which, you could not live; without which, spending each moment seemed to be impossible. 

It's painful when you need to forget the person you love.

And all that remains is pain

Yet, we fail to realise that, all this brings in something new, something exuberant. 

After all it's pain, and it demands to be felt!

It's painful when you need to leave an environment which had nurtured you, helped you grow, bloom and blossom for 10 long years; an environment where you learnt how to speak, how to seek, how to fall and how rise 

Among all those, which came as a come and go of your life. 

A place which taught you how to trod along even when things go wrong.

It's painful  to accept and adjust to a new place where,

You do not know the people around you 

You do not understand what they tell you

The things they say, the things they do

Seems to be all but a cloud

Of grey hue 

A cloud where nothing is visible 

But all you do is to trod along 

In this large loom. 

It's painful to see new faces replace the old ones; 

It's painful to understand what is good for yourself and simply move on.

Yet, it teaches us

How to simply get into something new

Something completely unknown 

To try and know the sunshine 

Which is hidden in it, unknown. 

But it's painful to do all that

Yet it's pain, and it demands to be felt!  

Yet among all this, the upcoming unique challenges and the new faces

The new teachers and peers in a group

The new set of feelings which are completely alien and true

The indecisions and faith that we have on someone and something new 

That makes us wonder like a fool! 

It's painful to replace all those old ones with these seemingly new  and simply move on..

And It is pain,which we fail to realise is the best teacher.

Feel it until you die, until it reaches your breath, until you cannot breathe and die all because of that one thing: PAIN!

Afterall it's pain friends, 

And it demands to be felt! 

Time is a great healer, but a poor beautician.

" Mum, I am leaving, Good Bye!"

Tej left his room, leaving his mum behind. Generally, he would not say this any other day but something had compelled him to wish his mom, maybe, for one last time.

As he walked through the dusty roads in his street, all the wonderful moments that he had with his mum played in his mind, like a flashback. Tej wondered why this happened as his mother was placed at a good position in the list of his haters. He didn't know what was going on.

A pain of separation had filled his heart. The constant fear of not being able to see his mother had pushed him into deep thinking.

Tej's dad had passed away when he was 5. He had seen his mother struggle as a single parent although she was advised to marry her brother in law. She never wanted to share the love for her husband with some other man, but alas, Tej never understood.

His mum used to try hard to fulfil his needs, but could never give him what he wanted. She loved seeing him grow but understood that the distance between tej and her was growing too.

And as she walked through the same dusty roads at her times to reach her place and start working, one constant thought used to encourage her," Tej would understand, someday".

Years had passed and as usual, Tej's mum was ill. All these years, hatred had developed in his heart for his mother as he thought, she was the reason why he was deprived of a dad's love.

But that day, his mentality changed.

He had seen his colleague's wife, who didnt care of the existence of her daughter, and was enjoying the company of her second husband, his colleague. 

Tej understood it all, that day.

But it was too late before he could give what his mother had wanted for years, a son's love.

As he strode through the dusty roads engrossed in all his messy thoughts, he understood he was hit by something heavy, and in a moment, was dismayed on not being able to replay those memories. The tape seemed to be on a fast forward mode and in a moment realised , those were his last breaths. 

In a moment did he realise, it was too late.

And in his last moments, the only thing he could think of was:

Am I paying for my sins? Or is there more tolerance written in my Mom's fate?

His mom's heart and soul broke like a mirror, all shattered at once, thinking,

"It's too late to get anything".

People say, it's never too late. Let me ask you, isn't it too late for Tej's mum to get what she wanted ?

Never say it's never too late. A moment might delay everything in your life.

"Trust on someone" is a lie. Rather, Trust Yourself!

One often makes a mistake to trust someone. It has been since the ancient ages that people have stressed on the word trust. But is that word even known to people today? Are people out of their minds these days that they don't bother to understand the meaning of this word? Or do they think it to be yet another ' Cool stuff ' and deal with it ,just as casually as any other normal thing ?  My teacher had rightly said: Love is the most abused word in the language. I am urged today to add another word to this line: Love and Trust are the most abused words in this language. 

 

For people who think it's cool to break someone's trust, I have no other option but to call them an artifice . Not only me but the whole world would agree. And for people who think it's their goodness to trust on everyone, I would be compelled to call them fools again as gone are those days of the past where people were well aware of what it was. From the most minute things to the greatest of all, I believe, trust, was one of those elements which kept a country United. Today, loss of that  has created a situation where people still are in a dilemma of whom to trust and whom not to. So much so that girl children today fear to trust their fathers, uncles and other male 'relatives' of their family. 

         Human beings, or rather Homo sapiens( it's scientific term) can be well differentiated from a mere robot by the fact that humans understand emotions. I am afraid that humans these days don't do that and neither do they devote all their time to make them a perfectionist like any other robot. Well then, what should we call them,  BEASTS? I'm still afraid, that the word might feel insulted by its very usage to define such living organisms. Where a grown up girl child cannot trust her male relatives because they are unable to control their temptations, 'beasts' is definitely not the appropriate word and I don't really have any word to describe them. Where teachers break trusts of their students, demoralise them and only a very few rise above the fool's multitude to support, encourage and guide us, how do we pay tribute to our so called 'gurus' ? How do we blindly trust them and put a step forward by just holding their hand, knowing that they will never let us stumble? Hard, isn't it? 

                Where 'friends' has now become just a term, that is used to describe the same aged teens who share the same class and curriculum with me! Hardly do we find peers to whom we can confide our secrets to and not leak them out! How trustworthy were friends then when I hear stories from my dad that vividly show how a whole class would rise up to support their peer if he was in trouble. And when I compare it with this very term now, I fear that I am learning the langugage in an improper way and repeatedly turn the pages of the dictionary to verify whether I am wrong or not. Someone had rightly said, "Golden were those days, which are gone now". 

                 Protectors have become destructors today. Police officers feel no shame to charge someone based on stupid reasons and it hurts me when I see that people have lost faith on these men and simply hold out a 500 rupee note to indirectly tell them " stop shouting crap please" ! 

                 Where people whom you hate have become a regular part of your life and go on hitting you which they find cool! They really do not understand how much are they losing on their image in front of the person in the process of upholding their undeserved dignity. 

                  WHAT DO WE TRUST ON THEN? THE TREES, FLOWERS, ROADS, MOUNTAINS, SUN AND DUST? 

                   Life is never complicated if you do not trust on people, who make an effort to throw hurdles at you. It becomes a lot easier when you trust in just one person, you. Trust in yourself. The long dusty road will seem to get clear, each day. 

The past cannot be relived, but it definitely can be revived!

He waved at me, for one last time. 

We spoke a little standing by the window which overlooked the highway.

The highway, which was a sign of freedom and distance.

Was it significant of the distance that prevailed among us now?

We shook hands, but this time to serve a formality.

A few words while standing beside the window did actually do wonders to help establish the distance which had increased by now.

Friendship was lost, feelings were lost.

What was left was just distance, like the highway we were staring at.

Had the distance ripped us off our efforts to even accept and acknowledge our inseparable bond which once had existed or was it the start of something new?

Questions unanswered and I hope it stays unanswered forever for,

Ignorance is bliss.